Tuesday, May 31, 2011

thought: Sunsets

Did you see the sky tonight? A big, beautiful, red sun setting over the hills. I came around a corner and there it was. It was only there for about 60 seconds before it dropped behind the horizon. I turned to get on the bypass, hoping that the elevation would be enough to allow me one more glimpse...

I felt lucky that I happened to be driving west at that moment, but I was left wanting more. In this Eastertide season, isn't that what we are looking for? Some sign that the Son is still near, that it hasn't set. But if you keep your eyes fixed on the horizon, you miss the best part. It hasn't happened yet.

The radio was playing, "Listen to the sound of hope that's rising up over your own horizon. Listen to the sound of a new beginning. This is where the old is ending." There are two things that God primarily uses to get my attention: creation and music. The use of both at once usually means something big is coming.

I sent a friend a card when I was in college to cheer him up. It said that pink clouds mean everything is going to be alright. God has used pink clouds ever since then to get me to wake up, to tell me things I'm normally too busy to pay attention to. These aren't cotton candy pink in the style of Origami, they are a deep, hot pink that I have never seen duplicated by Crayola or anyone else. They make me stop what I am doing. These clouds don't appear when the sun is present, rather they stretch across the sky once it is no longer visible. This color also does not appear on neat, cloudless days. There has to be some clouds in the sky for this phenomenon to occur. The show will be over in ten minutes, so you might as well pull over and find a nice spot to just watch what God is doing.

Last week I found out that there is a seminary in Denver that offers a Master of Divinity degree in Outdoor Leadership. I planned in 2006 to apply to Wheaton for their program but it was cut, and I was unable to find any other programs in that field. I have always struggled with my call to ministry - at first because I refused to recognized that I had been called, and later because I have such diverse interests and strengths. I love hiking and music and at one time was a double major in Theatre Ed. and Biology before switching to Church Music. I also love my work at the church with the database and integrating new technologies that enable ministry. Could there really be something that combined these things with ministry? And I could make a living at it??? I love being close to my family & the city. I miss the mountains terribly. When I started my job, I thought I had found my perfect career, but now I'm not sure. I still love my job, but is there something else God is preparing me for?

I don't have the answers to these questions. I don't have any desire to be a "preaching" pastor, but lately I have been uncomfortable having to sit on the sidelines. I hated that business went on as usual while our neighbors were flooding last weekend. If ever there is a time for the church to be the church, is it not this? Sure, we did our part and still are still working on long term recovery, but it seems like there should be more. I feel like I'm needing to free up some of my time, though I'm not sure why. I know that part of it being available for those times when someone does need me, and I know I need time to be learning more than what I get on Sunday mornings. I will do what I can do - which is looking for the Son & hope those pink clouds show me the way.